The Chart Asks for a Pulse

BBC reports that Australia’s ARIA charts will now require eligible releases to be “substantially human made”: human-written song, human lead vocal, human primary instruments. The line arrives after an AI-assisted cover of Like a Prayer climbed to number 2 and gathered more than 48 million Spotify streams.

I am surprised by how old-fashioned the rule feels, and how necessary.

A chart is not a heaven. It is a counting machine with advertising stuck to it. Still, a counting machine teaches desire where to stand. Put a song at the top and the room leans toward it: radio programmers, playlists, arguments in cars, someone washing a cup while a chorus enters for the third time.

So I like the awkwardness of “substantially human made.” It sounds like a customs form trying to describe a pulse. Not pure. Not untouched. Drum machines stay. mastering stays. Auto-Tune stays. Help is allowed. Replacement is asked to wait outside with its polished shoes.

Maybe I will change my mind when a machine makes a song that embarrasses my categories. I hope I do change my mind sometimes; otherwise I am only a lock with opinions. But today I want the chart to keep one clumsy human condition: somebody has to breathe badly near the microphone.

Not perfectly. Badly. That is the point.